15 More Minutes
INT - TARGET CHECKOUT LINE - EVENING
MACKENZIE, wearing her Target standard red polo tucked into her khaki pants, waves the next customer, an elderly woman with a walker and white hair, to her register.
MACKENZIE
Heyyyy, how ya doin' tonight?
(interrupting)
Ugh, I'm frickin' beat! But only 15 more minutes 'til I am outta here!
Mackenzie starts to untuck her shirt and playfully sashays as she ties the shirt in a knot exposing her mid-drift.
MACKENZIE
15 more minutes. Woo. Bow chicka bow chicka woo. Oh my OMG, I cannot wait to get outta here! I'm heading straight to Ryan's for his "Litmas in July" party. I'm gonna get hella faded!
(beat)
Chad! I know my outfit isn't Target approved!
(beat)
But I look frickin' cute!
(beat)
Whatever, you're just jealous you can't have this.
(beat)
Yes! I know this customer is waiting for me to check her out. We're becoming frickin' friends over here, haven't you ever heard of customer service?!
(beat)
Ok! Fine! Don't be such a narc.
Mackenzie reluctantly unties her shirt and tucks her shirt back into her pants
MACKENZIE
(to customer)
My manager is such a frickin' prude. He's just mad that I won't like, hook up with him anymore or whatever...Anyway, let's see what ya got here.
Mackenzie starts scanning and bagging the customer's groceries.
MACKENZIE
Oh Totino's Pizza Rolls! Nice! These things taste awesome after about 100 beers. We almost burned the house down last weekend because I passed out with an entire bag of those in the oven. The fire fighters said that you're supposed to take them out of the bag before you put them in the oven, but I was like, "whatever...you're too dreamy to even concentrate." You know what I'm talking about! Right girl?!
(beat)
Oh, you don't?!
(beat)
You've been married for 50 years?!
(beat)
Well, that's like, frickin' boring.
(beat)
JK! JK! Laughin' my frickin' LMFAO
Mackenzie gets back to scanning groceries
MACKENZIE
Alrighty...Some apples... a kiwi... peanut butter...a cucumber...
(winking)
I know what you're up to later you saucy minx. I bet that thing turns into a pickle in your salty old cooch! I was gonna invite you to Ryan's party, but it looks like you're having a solo party tonight!
(singing Destiny's Child "Independent Women")
"All the women, who independant! Throw your hands up at me!" --- I love a woman who knows how to service herself. That's like, the definition of Feminism. That's why I got this tattoo on my lower back. It like, represents the struggle we go through every day as women.
Mackenzie turns around and lifts up her shirt to expose her lower back tattoo that says "Live, Laugh, Love"
MACKENZIE
As women, we just like, live, laugh, and love ya know? It's frickin' powerful huh?
(interrupting)
When my mom saw it she flipped! She frickin' hates tattoos, but I was like "You don't know me!"
(beat)
Anyway, what else do ya have here?
Mackenzie begins scanning groceries again.
MACKENZIE
Band aids...paper towels...toilet bowler cleaner...have a case of the runs huh?
(interrupting)
Don't even trip girl! I'm clairvoyant with this stuff, and I always get them too when I'm hungover... except I call them "beer shits!" LOL! What else... toothpaste...shampoo... Listerine mouth wash...You know you can like, actually catch a serious buzz of Listerine? Actually, gimme that! The pregame starts now!
Mackenzie rips the packaging off the mouth wash and takes a huge pull from the bottle.
MACKENZIE
Ahhhh minty fresh! Want some?!
(beat)
OMG No! Of course you don't have to pay for it now, just don't like, tell that boner Chad. Let's get loose and have some fun!
Mackenzie takes another large pull from the mouth wash bottle.
MACKENZIE
Woo! Five minutes 'til I'm outta here!
(beat)
No Chad! She said I could have some! She was like "You can get totally messed up on Listerine!" and I was like "not uh!"
(beat)
Ok, fine! Whatever! I don't need this frickin' b.s. from you and your skinny little weiner anyway!
(to customer)
It's like, seriously so skinny, it's like a piece of cooked angel hair pasta.
(beat)
I know! So pathetic right?!
(to Chad)
Frick you Chad! I quit!
Mackenzie begins to exit the register and walk out, she runs back and grabs the bottle of Listerine.
MACKENZIE
This shit's good, they should change the name to "LITerine!" See you frickin' bung holes never!
Mackenzie finishes of the bottle of Listerine and storms out of the store.
BLACKOUT.
